The Honey Jar

My Black history month has been super lit thus far. Literally.

Posted a photo of my current honey jar on my IG this week and I have kept a red candle lit on it for the better part of the month. Let me break down for yall the simplest way to build up an incredible amount of self-love through the use of ritual and intention.

The Honey Jar

If you google or search on youtube you will find a million ways to make a honey jar and they are all valid but it can be overwhelming. Do you use honey or molasses? What type of petition paper should you write on? Does the candle color matter? What types of herbs should be used? How long do you keep the jar? So many questions! The first thing to understand is that honey jars are just a tool; the intention and discipline are what really bring in the results. The second thing to take note of is our ancestors used whatever they had on hand. Don’t feel overly pressured to spend a lot of money on a bunch of oils and herbs that you don’t have any particular use for just yet. A lot of things can be sourced right at your local supermarket or produce stand.


I constructed this jar last summer with the intention to attract loving vibrations but the main focus of the jar is ME. Years ago, I received a reading and was told some great information on how to connect with specific ancestors. At the time I was single and not having much luck in the love department so I asked the priest if this was something my ancestors were blocking for any special reason. He chuckled, shook his head ‘no’ and said “Does the flower worry about the bees? No. The flower blooms and smells good and that’s what draws the bees to it.” The great part about doing a jar spell on yourself is it's all about what benefits you. I'm not a bg fan of doing work to coerce people into doing what you want but I am all about doing things that make you more magnetic and attractive so you can get what you truly desire with less hassle. 

In your quests for love always stay mindful that you want what's genuinely attracted to you. While you might have a certain someone in your mind's eye you have to be open to what the Universe has to offer. In raising your vibration you will find that all sorts of people will be pulled in your orbit. I have my days where the jar is clearly doing the work for me cause I look a mess; my clothes are crumpled, hair is in a drab ponytail yet, I’m not wearing a drop of makeup and there are several men skinnin' and grinnin' in my face.

I don’t recall all the herbs I used but I believe this was the recipe. Feel free to add or subtract whatever you feel called to!

  • catnip - for attraction 
  • damiana - for sexiness
  • mint - for generosity 
  • rose - for loving vibes
  • lavender - for peace
  • orange peel - for Oshun

For the petition paper, I used some Bible verses from the Song of Solomon aka the sexy part of the bible. If my memory serves me correctly I used these verses:

Song of Solomon 1:5-6
I am very dark, but lovely,
   O daughters of Jerusalem,
like the tents of Kedar,
   like the curtains of Solomon.
Do not gaze at me because I am dark,
   because the sun has looked upon me.
Song of Solomon 2:3
As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
   so is my beloved among the young men.

Any text, scripture, proverbs, song lyrics, poetry, etc can be used! Get creative!

I also wrote out the qualities of what I felt would make up a healthy relationship: communication, respect, compassion, generosity, peace, etc. Both of these petition papers were made from a brown paper bag that I tore towards me (to attract). I then anointed the four corners and the center of the paper with some oils I had on deck. After anointing the petitions I folded towards me and placed them in the jar. I put a bit of myself in the jar to bond it to me. I had recently washed my hair so I took a few strands of my curls and put them in.

The sweetener that you use affects the speed and the type of vibration that you’re pulling to yourself as well. Traditionally honey jars were just called sweetening jars and they didn’t use honey as honey was quite expensive. A traditional jar calls for molasses but if you’ve ever had to use molasses you know it is SLOW. I’m super impatient (yes, even with all this esoteric studying I still have to tell myself to chill from time to time lol) so I used sugar water with lots of raw brown sugar. I think I might have put a pinch of honey in there just to be extra but sugar water would have been fine by itself. I made enough sugar water to cover the mixture. A shot of white rum went in the jar as well and that completed the physical portion of this exercise.

Now to the fun part: manifesting!

You have to activate your jar so it can start charging up and being the little self-love magnet that it is. A taper or chime candle is perfect for this because you can measure your candle progress each time you burn a new one. I’ve used white tea light candles if I didn’t have anything else and that is perfectly okay to use. This jar has seen white chime candles for peace, pink for self-love and red for fiery passionate stuff. They all work great with this type of jar. Sometimes you just wanna keep the party going so you’ll use a white candle. Some days you might need an extra boost so you reach for the pink candle and welcome the warm fuzzies. That red candle tho? It's a big boss move, forreal forreal. Work your way up to the red because it might be a little overwhelming to have every Tom, Dick, and Harry on the street trying to be your new best friend. Don’t be scurred but don’t be foolish either. Magic is a tool like any other and if you use it recklessly you can and will get burned. Be careful with the red candles! I’m serious!

You can anoint your candles with herbs and oils if you want for an added punch. You can also take a pen or a needle and carve sigils, words or even your own name into the candle to make it even more focused and precise. Keep track of your progress with a journal or a note on your phone. 

Daizy Latifah of The Afro Mystic posted about her honey jar work in her FB group and she made me laugh cause that’s exactly how deep you gotta get with it. Have Netflix and chill with your jar. Cook dinner with your jar on the kitchen counter. Place crystals and stones around your jar to add more charge to it. Say loving things to it. Play music for it. Essentially, a honey jar is a bit like a gris-gris bag: you’ve made it by your own hand, it’s tied to you with a specific mission and it is a living entity now. Treat it with the love and respect you would as if it were an actual human being. Respect your jar and let it do its job.

Another way that I help my jar along is sex magick. Specifically, solo sex magick. A quick search and you will find a million and one ways to bust a nut with intention but that’s literally all you need to do: orgasm with intention. If you can do it with your honey jar fully lit and in your field of vision, even better. I like to listen to binaural beats and healing frequencies when I do sex magick and it can take some getting used to if you are used to getting off through other means *cough* pornhub *ahem*. Having a specific phrase or word in mind while you’re conjuring up that orgasm is important too. Most of all, have fun with it and be open to what happens.

A palero once told me that working magic is like dropping pebbles in a body of water. The bigger the rock, the bigger the ripple, the bigger the effect. While constructing a honey jar is only one part of the process the actual work comes from, well, working it. Every time you engage with your jar or set a light on it you are dropping another pebble into the body of water that is your manifestation.

Stay focused and conjure up that love you desire.

1 comment

  • Love this article!! It was very insightful. I made my very first honey jar a few weeks ago and ever since I find myself constantly questioning anything before I proceed. Does this align with my self love routine? Even when I’m having sex, the actual words Self Love, come to mind along with colors and everything else that we encounter in sexual experiences. All I can say is, IT WORKS!!


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